The Broncos are bad, the Lions are good. The Chargers are mediocre, and the Packers are one loss away from going undefeated. If there’s one thing this NFL season has been like so far, it’s completely crazy.
Week 9:
1. New England Patriots (9-0) (Previous rank: 1): Well, it wasn’t the offensive shootout many of us thought we’d see, but it was exciting nonetheless (at least in the fourth quarter). Coming back from down ten on the road further cements his 16-0 campaign. Tom Brady is the best key quarterback in the game.
2. Indianapolis Colts (7-1) (Previous rank: 2): It was a loss, but the Colts showed they could play the Pats. They will meet again, most likely in the AFC Championship. They’re definitely a force to be reckoned with, but their defense can’t waste those kinds of advantages if they’re going to repeat as Super Bowl champions.
3. Dallas Cowboys (7-1) (Previous rank: 3): This was a game that a lot of people picked Philly to win. Well Tony Romo, TO and Jason Witten (even without a helmet) had something to say about that. Their defense was also spectacular: they left Philadelphia like grated cheese… steak.
4. Green Bay Packers (7-1) (Previous rank: 4): Is Green Bay going to the Super Bowl? Where do they win and Brett Favre (in true John Elway style) retire? Well, so far so good. This was a great win at Arrowhead. The Packers are showing teams that it’s possible to win, even without a running back.
5. New York Giants (6-2) (Previous rank: 5): No change: farewell week.
6. Pittsburgh Steelers (6-2) (Previous rank: 6): The Ravens never had a chance in this game. They were tarred and feathered before the second half began. The Steelers are hell-bent on letting the Pats and Colts know that they aren’t considered champions yet.
7. Detroit Lions (6-2) (Previous rank: 10): For anyone who was still airborne over the Lions, it’s time to start landing. Detroit not only beat Denver, but made them look pathetic. On defense and offense, Detroit was almost flawless. These Lions are determined to roar into the playoffs.
8. Tennessee Titans (6-2) (Previous rank: 7): Despite Vince Young’s poor performance, the Titans continue to win. One of the most pleasant surprises this season has been his defense. With his ability to capture, victory is practically in the bag.
9. Cleveland Browns (5-3) (Previous rank: 12): Halfway through the season and Cleveland has a winning record? Don’t adjust your computer screens: It’s true. His offense is explosive. If they could get a little more solid on special teams and defense, the Browns would easily find themselves out of the doghouse, er, kennel.
10. Washington Redskins (5-3) (Previous rank: 15): A week after taking a beating, the Redskins came from behind to win on the road. His running game was incredible: Clinton Portis did his fantasy owners proud.
11. New Orleans Saints (4-4) (Previous rank: 16): Don’t look now, but the Saints are at .500 and only a half game out of first place. After winning four in a row, this team is heating up. They dominated Jacksonville’s defense: Drew Brees had a monster game and Reggie Bush… well, he wasn’t too bad either.
12. Jacksonville Jaguars (5-3) (Previous rank: 8): So far their stellar defense: they were carved by the saints as a Thanksgiving turkey. They are not good enough on offense to hold up when an opponent scores 41 points. If you don’t get your defense going, you’re not going anywhere.
13. Tampa Bay (5-4) (Previous rank: 17): Their defense left the Cardinals feeling like a bird and their offense did just enough to get the job done. This victory really belongs to their clock management: keeping the opponent’s offense off the field obviously makes it more difficult for them to score.
14. San Diego (4-4) (Previous rank: 9): Just when we thought the chargers were, well, charged, their batteries seem to have died. On a day when the rest of the AFC West lost, San Diego really would have liked a win. LaDainian Tomlinson was completely outshone by a rookie.
15. Seattle Seahawks (4-4) (Previous rank: 11): The Seahawks can’t blow leads if they’re going to make the playoffs. They should have had this game in the bag, but they found its feathers clipped instead. If they don’t start rushing the opposing quarterback, they won’t fly anywhere in January.
16. Buffalo Bills (4-4) (Previous rank: 21): The Buffalo Bills’ recent run has left many people wondering if they could be a playoff team. Right now, they’re certainly playing like that. Marshawn Lynch was great on Sunday and they came from behind which makes the win even bigger. This team just keeps getting better.
17. Carolina Panthers (4-4) (Previous rank: 13): Their defense gave them a chance to win by intercepting Vince Young, but their offense doesn’t seem to know how to get to the end zone. Not many games will be won by scoring a measly seven points.
18. Houston Texans (4-5) (Previous rank: 24): Houston is holding on with all its might. They are playing aggressive in attack and defense. They have heart and they have passion. That’s more than many of the other NFL teams. They are an easy team to cheer for.
19. Kansas City Chiefs (4-4) (Previous rank: 18): When Larry Johnson is capped, the Chiefs won’t win. Simply put, they don’t have receivers: Tony Gonzalez can’t do it alone. They have a big game this week against Denver. If they can’t compete with the Broncos, there may be no hope at all.
20. Baltimore Ravens (4-4) (Previous rank: 14): Whoops, this was wrong. His offense was horrible and his defense was destroyed. Let’s just hope the sting of this loss doesn’t make Ray Lewis want to go out and kill someone.
21. Minnesota Vikings (3-5) (Previous rank: 28): This team may not make the playoffs this year, but in the coming seasons they will be contenders. Why? Adrian Peterson. ’nuff said.
22. Chicago Bears (3-5) (Previous rank: 22): No change; Goodbye week.
23. Arizona Cardinals (3-5) (Previous rank: 19): This is turning out to be a typical season for the Arizona Cardinals. They just aren’t getting enough yards on offense: Their passing game is mediocre and their running game is, well, even worse than Green Bay’s.
24. Denver Broncos (3-5) (Previous rank: 17): Dear Denver Bronco fans, get your heads out of the oven; the season is not over yet. Still, it’s bad. Oh so so wrong. Denver seems to be getting worse: They can’t pick up momentum and their players can’t help but get hurt. The only thing keeping them afloat is the ineptitude of the AFC West.
25. Philadelphia Eagles (3-5) (Previous rank: 23): Philly seemed to be getting back on track and then they ran into the Cowboys. This game ended early. We’re not sure what’s wrong with this team, but they’ve flown under the radar.
26. Atlanta Falcons (2-6) (Previous rank: 29): This was a hard-won victory and one that belongs to their defense. They made big plays in San Francisco when they needed it. Warrick Dunn also had a good day, running for 100 yards despite being in his sixties or so.
27. Cincinnati Bengals (2-6) (Previous rank: 23): There are a lot of bad defenses in the league this year, but after giving up 33 points to the Buffalo Bills, the Bengals could take the cake. Their offense is decent, but that doesn’t really matter when they can’t get past their opponents.
28. Oakland Raiders (2-6) (Previous rank: 27): Their defense seems to have lost its edge and their offense, well, that’s a whole different story. Whether it’s Culpepper or McCown seems irrelevant: They just can’t pass the ball. They’re not out yet, but they’re certainly in the basement.
29. San Francisco (2-6) (Previous rank: 26): If you’re going to San Francisco, make sure you wear flowers in your hair…because you sure don’t want to wear a niner shirt. They’ve already dropped six in a row: this is a disaster. Your season is over.
30. New York Jets (1-8) (Previous rank: 30): This loss needs to be backed up by the defense – they let Washington recover. Kellen Clemens didn’t pull any miracles, but he had a solid game. They still get a mark in the L column, but at least they were in it.
31. St. Louis Rams (0-8) (Previous rank: 31): No change: farewell week.
32. Miami Dolphins (0-8) (Previous rank: 32): No change; Goodbye week.
