Are you a self-help addict? Do you buy and read hundreds of self-help books? Do you have dozens of motivational CDs? Are you still searching for the elusive success that has been promised to you?
Is borrowing for self-help a good investment?
I have known people who do; people who think that the more expensive a seminar is, the more value they will get from it. Some of these people have even gone into debt in order to ‘invest in themselves’. While I totally agree that personal growth and development is the most valuable thing you can do with your time, I’m not sure that reading another self-help book is always the way to do it.
Don’t get me wrong, I think self-help books are wonderful. I myself have a few dozen. I read them avidly (and even summarize them). They almost always have some precious gems that you can use in your own life.
Is there a quick fix?
I have always been an observer of human behavior and there is a behavioral trait that I have noticed in recent years that is helping fuel the massive growth of the self-help industry. What trait is that? It is the desire to have a quick fix; take a pill (or equivalent) and our problems disappear. Instead of changing our lifestyle or our way of thinking, we prefer to ask for help that does not require any effort on our part to solve our problems. We can pay a lot of money for these quick fixes to avoid doing the hard stuff of inner awareness and the knowledge and pain they can bring.
Where self-help books offer value
And they are valuable in a very important area of personal development… they can change the way you think. They can help you find a better way to see, think, feel, and be. These are very valuable ideas to have. I wonder if, by themselves, they are enough to achieve success.
I will give you an example. Although I have degrees in Commerce and Law to my name, I discovered that there were many gaps in my knowledge when I started running my own business. To fill in these gaps, I read book after book on how to successfully run a business and make money. They were probably all great books, but none of them answered the questions I had. They may tell me how to write ad copy generically, but not how to write it specifically for my business. They may tell me the things to look for when hiring people, but never the specific things to look for in my industry. They may tell me how to get financing for my business, but never the inside knowledge that would make my application more favorable to my bank.
What you’re going to have to do to experience success…
If self-help and other books didn’t give me the answers that made me successful, what did they give me?
There were four things that eventually brought success to my life as a business woman:
- Realizing that the only person who could do it WAS ME. No one else was going to be able to achieve my success for me. There was no magic pill I could take, no book I could read, no course I could attend that would bring about the necessary changes within me. The only person who could do that was me.
- Awareness was TAKE ACTION which would lead to experience and then knowledge. Sitting and reading would not give me the answers I needed. I have taken many, many actions. I have succeeded as many times as I have failed. And from both the successes and the failures along the way… I learned much more from the failures than from the successes. Failures showed me what not to do next time, what not to say, what not to pay… so that next time I would be wise about how I did it.
- NEVER GIVE UP. On my journey to success I have what I now call ‘flexible commitment’. I am very committed to achieving the results I set for myself… but I do it in a very flexible way. If what I’m doing doesn’t work, I’m now flexible enough to try to do it another way. I am also flexible enough to wait until the time is right and then jump in with my new idea. I stay true to the goals I set for myself, but I reach them in a less rigid and more flexible way than before. If banging my head against the wall doesn’t work, then I start looking for a door.
- Have a PARTNER OF EXCELLENCE. I found a mentor with whom I have regular conversations. The great thing about my mentor is that I mentor them in return. We call ourselves ‘partners of excellence’ and hold each other to a higher standard than we would if we were operating on our own. We exchange ideas and hold each other accountable for achieving the goals we set out to achieve. Knowing that he’s going to call me at the end of the week and see how I’m doing is sometimes the greatest motivation in the world to get the job done.
Are self-help books and self-help courses of any value?
Absolutely! There is still value in self-help books and self-help courses. However, they are not the total solution to any challenge you have. The final key to the solution has to come from you, from a desire within you to make changes and take the necessary action.
I still look forward to personal development programs. In fact, I run them myself and love them.
I am never too arrogant to believe that I know everything and that no one else can teach me. There is always a new perspective to gain, a faster way to understand yourself or a new perspective on a subject.
But both when I lead personal development seminars for others (and when I attend myself), I am well aware that you will need to take steps after leaving the seminar to fully incorporate the changes into your life. I know I need to get off course and take action if I want to be successful.
In short, I guess I’m saying that unless you’re ready to take the necessary steps to make a change in your life, save your money and stop going to self-help courses and reading self-help books.
However, if you are prepared to take the necessary action, then self-help books and self-help courses are an incredible way to gain the skills, knowledge, and motivation you need to move your life forward toward success and reach your potential. .
