As we all know, divorce takes you to that stage of life where you logically die even though you are physically alive. Or in other words, divorce is the death of a marital relationship. The shock that the stench of divorce brings undeniably destroys one so badly that it can take years to get back on your feet.
What we discussed earlier was the emotional cost of divorce which is incurred in the form of death of love and loss of respect, isolation, stress, restlessness, developmental regression, physical deterioration, low self-esteem, lack of confidence, cynicism, anger , bitterness. , feelings of inadequacy many more.
“I want to separate from my partner”, “we are not compatible” or “we do not make a good couple” are the frequent phrases we hear from young married couples today. Well, this group of people have a mentality that by getting divorced they are putting an END to marital unhappiness and with divorce they can get rid of spousal tyranny, oppression and abuse. But literally speaking, they are simply replacing one set of problems with another, especially in minor cases. You will find them coming out of the divorce completely different and your life will take a different turn.
Related to the above topic, a question arises in our mind: why are divorce, breakup, separation and unpleasant marital life becoming so common in today’s world? Divorces did exist in the past, but on a comparatively very small scale. This is so obvious that children who see their parents get divorced are growing up as a broken generation that has various problems that become part of their lives. They get even more stained when their parents remarry. And very clearly when abused children grow up in an atmosphere where such treatments have become “no problem” now or more likely to say “fashion”, they will follow suit and act upon it when they get married and so the cycle continues. This is a very staggering cost that our entire nation is bearing.
We saw that the emotional cost of divorce is no less than any great loss, but its financial costs are also horrible and have devastating consequences.
There is a growing fear from the government about the high costs of divorce. In the UK, studies have shown that the government provided just £178m of legal aid the previous year, of which just £9.2bn was spent on helping people cope with aftershocks of freedom. There were other costs that were spent on childcare and the estimate was £1.3 billion.
While in the United States, the average cost of divorce varies with an estimate of $10,000 to $20,000. A recent study has provided an assessment that marriages ending in divorce are very costly to the public; Additionally, a single divorce was estimated to cost federal governments about $30,000, based on things like increased use of food stamps and public housing, as well as increases in bankruptcies and juvenile delinquency. The nation’s 10.4 million divorces are estimated to have cost taxpayers more than $30 billion. Digging deeper, the cost taxpayers are paying to the government includes the cost of child support enforcement of $37.7 million, the cost of domestic violence programs of $9.7 million, and the cost of child abuse and neglect of $113. .4 million, while not including any welfare benefits for mothers who are dependents. If divorce rates are reduced in some measurable way, taxpayers will save a considerable amount of money.
A sociology professor, Steven Nock, and University of Iowa economics and law professor Margaret Brinig were the first to study this topic. They found that since the costs of divorce are too high for a common person, court proceedings can drag on for a year or more. They also estimated that $175 billion is spent annually on divorces, mostly litigation.
Divorce has become a very large and successful business in the United States. According to information provided by a website that is geared toward divorce and remarriage, divorce is a $31 billion a year industry with an average cost of around $20,000.
Among many, one of the main reasons that is being recognized is the connection between the emotional pain of divorce and its impact on finances. Undoubtedly, divorce can lead to mental depression and emotional instability. The rate of depression is studied to be almost three times higher among divorced men and women than among married couples who have never been divorced. When one or both spouses file for divorce, it’s not uncommon for job performance and productivity to drop dramatically between stress, meetings with lawyers, and the time it takes to build a new life. It wouldn’t be rash to say that “if you hire a divorce attorney today, there’s a good chance you’ll be hiring a bankruptcy attorney two to three years from now.”
The cost of divorce, whether emotional or financial, can be substantially reduced and kept in check if one or both spouses (filing for divorce) acknowledge the full divorce process, do not rush, and control their anger because in most cases Divorce costs increase due to the spouse’s destructive attitudes towards the other, making the process longer in terms of frequent counseling sessions, consultation and other court proceedings.
Divorce costs can be further reduced financially; carefully reviewing your will, taking into account existing insurance coverage, canceling all joint bank accounts (credit cards), and reviewing retirement assets.
Going not far from this miserable world of divorce, there are couples who are making it and very few are winners like them. They are basically the ones we should be looking at. The cost in emotional pain and suffering, as well as in dollars and cents, can be extreme. The process can also take years. Still, by cooperating, understanding each other, and learning the rules, you can both come out in reasonably good shape.
