Sitting strong is an important tool to challenge children. It is a technique similar to meditation that helps our children to relax in the front part of the brain where they can function properly.
Sitting up strong is a wonderful exercise for our children, frankly for any child let alone adults. Sitting strong helps a defiant child who defaults to the fight-or-flight behavior of the brainstem. Children with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) live in a chronic state of anxiety, fear and hypervigilance. As they heal, of course, they can function more and more in the front part of the brain, the neocortex, and behave in age-appropriate ways.
It’s a good idea for your defiant child to feel strong at least once a day, and usually more often. There are several different times during the day and a variety of circumstances where sitting up high can be appropriate and helpful. Here are some examples.
- First thing in the morning is important. Most likely, you have established a morning routine for your child based on age and abilities. I highly recommend that part of your routine include sitting up hard, either immediately after your child gets out of bed or after going to the bathroom.
- Another time for a strong sit-in is after an episode of misbehavior. This can occur after you and your child have talked about what happened (what happened? What could you have done differently?), giving your child time to complete the re-regulation process and return to that beloved front. of the brain.
- It can also be helpful in preventing an episode of misbehavior if you can catch your child before they melt and the candy cooperates and sits.
- An additional time is after your child has completed a restitution job (all about restitution in another article). Your child should sit where the work was done and think about whether the work was completed to A+ standards and if not, finish the work.
- You know your child, so use your own imagination and creativity to determine other times a booster seat can help your child.
Introduce sitting strong gradually. Start with one minute and gradually increase the duration until your child can sit for one minute for each year of age. The first few times your child feels good, she should do so in a quiet place without distractions. As her son masters sitting without distractions, gradually add distractions, such as doing the dishes, cleaning the house, or listening to the radio. Again, be creative and introduce the distractions that are part of her routine at home. We want our children to be able to focus during their allotted time and with other activities around them. This helps prepare them for the realities of life when there will be a need to remain calm and focused in the face of disturbing activity going on around them.
It is vital that the strong sit is done correctly. Sitting weak is not acceptable. Therefore, correct posture, remaining still and calm, with relaxed abdominal breathing, are mandatory to achieve the purposes of a strong sitting position. Let your child know that it can be a five minute strong sit or a ten minute weak sit. It depends on the child! To see how to do it, check out this demo by four lovely kids on YouTube at http://tinyurl.com/yc8a3xo/.
Our children’s lives have been so full of turmoil and disturbance that they deserve to be introduced to activities that help them relax and feel at peace. When we present them with opportunities to learn to relax, to feel what it is like not to be chronically tense and anxious, we are nurturing them in a powerful way. Add a strong seat to your daily routine and you will see a difference in your child.
Do you use sit up strong in your family? How does your child handle it? Would you recommend sit strong to others? Email me and let me know your thoughts on the strong sitting position.
