Mama’s Boys has received a lot of attention these days. The problem with them is being featured on blogs, entertainment news shows, and even a new reality show called “Momma’s Boys” (produced by Ryan Seacrest). A producer reached out to us to see if we had a client and his mother who would be appearing on a national morning show! We couldn’t please him because the kind of mama’s boy they were looking for and the kind that these others are putting their attention on is a kind of mama’s boy we’ve never met. And we are Mom and Dad’s experts!
The type of mama’s boy that gets the most attention these days is the one we call “The Boy in the Aprons.” This guy can blind people to the reality that Mommy’s kids have a variety of personalities. There are at least three other types of mommy’s kids. They may surprise you, but you will recognize them. There are also at least four types of daddy’s daughters. You will also recognize them. You know, you rarely find a mama’s boy without a daddy’s girl! Understanding the following types can help you understand how to enhance the romance you share with your grown mommy boy or daddy’s girl.
When a mom’s son travels incognito, he’s likely The Bully. His machismo and domineering personality may make you think twice about calling him a mommy’s son. However, if you use verbal or physical aggression to put pressure on the women in your life, you are a mama’s boy! Mom’s children, through no fault of their own, lost the opportunity to bond with their parents, knowing that their power comes from within. As a result, they spend their lives pressuring or pressuring the women in their lives to confirm their masculinity. A woman cannot give a man her masculinity no matter how much either of them tries.
The Apron Strings Boy we have mentioned is the man who, whether single or married, will not make the decision to act without the input or approval of his mother. He is comfortable with his mother’s influence in his life. While his wife or girlfriend finds that his mother is interfering, he will defend his activity in his life. If you put him in the position of having to choose between you, his mother will win.
Some mama’s boys have so much feminine energy that we call them The Man Who Nourishes. This man is comfortable being “Mr. Mom”. He loves raising the women and children in his life and is the number one reason we say that being a mommy’s boy or loving one can be a very good thing. The challenge here is that you still need to be respected as a man, and your wife needs opportunities to be disappointed, to relax, and to be receptive. Role reversal works best when both individuals are in complete agreement and have the option of spending time in traditional roles.
Mom’s fourth type of boy is the soft male. This man has a challenge when it comes to harnessing his masculine potency and acting. Because he needs his wife’s permission to act, he exemplifies more of the mama’s boy pulling his wife to get an idea of his masculinity. Rather than being the male or female energy in the relationship, he is more like an insecure teenager who cannot make the leap into adulthood.
A woman can be a father’s daughter because she tried to take her place with her mother or her mother’s place with him. This explains why a woman separated from her father can still be a father’s daughter. Here, we start with The Tom Boy. She is the one who loved sports, camping, cars, or other male interests in childhood. He identified with his father then and still does. As you work to please and care for him through your life choices, you tend to be successful in the world. However, her obsession with him undermines her success in romance.
Another type of daddy’s girl is The Little Princess. This woman can appear feminine and very in love with herself. However, it is not true self-love, because she does not know how to obtain wholeness from within. Looking for him outside of herself, she believes that she will be happy when her man finds out how to please her. Her self-centeredness and belief that the world revolves around her reveals that she is Daddy’s little princess.
Any type of daddy’s girl can express her desire to care for the men in her life through intimidating, submissive, or martyred ways. Yet The Longsuffering Wife is the kind of daddy’s girl who is at the greatest risk of being taken for granted and suffering deep resentment in the process. She puts everyone ahead of herself, trying to be the great mother earth. She wonders too much of herself, trying to be the kind of mother and wife who would make one or both of her parents proud.
Daddy’s fourth daughter is The Father Knows Best Girl. She is the one who cannot make a decision without her father’s input or opinion. She believes that no one will love her like he loved her. If he is no longer a part of her life, she sighs for his influence. If he was affectionate, she sighs for it too. If he was dismissive, she longs to show him that she is his girl after all. Like The Soft Male, this woman is trapped in a kind of adolescence, unable to make the leap to full adulthood.
If you recognize yourself or someone you love from these descriptions, you can use the information here to better understand yourself or that loved one. This can give you a little patience with behavior that may have made you want to pull your hair out earlier! You can also see where you need to lean in the direction of fullness. Without getting him, her, or you wrong, how can you encourage the independent adult inside to show up once in a while and then celebrate that?
Mommy’s boys and daddy’s girls are everywhere! Learning to get along with respect and affection, and learning to grow a little more, is the secret to greater happiness.
