For some men, women are seen as people who need to be saved or rescued from what is happening in their lives. And so, no matter how big or small the challenges of these women are, as this type of man is very happy to get involved.
So this also means that unless a woman has some kind of problem, this type of man will not be interested. The famous lady in distress is the ideal candidate here. But they could also be experiencing some kind of mental or emotional problem, a family conflict or an unpleasant ex, for example. Whether it is an isolated event or a regular occurrence is ultimately irrelevant.
Popular culture
All this scenario is usually seen in popular culture with songs and movies that run through this dynamic. This could be the knight in shining armor or the prince, for example. Movies in which women are portrayed as incompetent or powerless also create a need for a strong man to also appear to save them from the situation they find themselves in.
Of course, women have gradually become more empowered in the world, and therefore these images are not as common as they once were. It is now quite normal to see an empowered woman and a man could be the person that needs to be rescued.
But regardless of what happens in the movies or what the singers sing, both genders can feel powerless.
patterns
So a man can see that a woman is struggling in some way and feel the need to help her. Or maybe this is a man who gets into a relationship with a woman and soon realizes that she is having real problems. And when this happens, a man will have to deny and neglect his own needs and desires in order to attend to the woman’s needs and desires.
If this happens during certain times, it may not be a big deal, but if it becomes the relational pattern, it could have all sorts of unhealthy consequences.
The man may begin to feel that he has become a father figure and that the adult relationship has come to an end.
The benefits
Although there are these disadvantages above and many others, there are also numerous benefits of being in a situation like this. It can give the man a feeling of power and control over the woman. What can make the man feel that he is loved, appreciated and that they will not leave him.
One step back
However, what is clear here is that one man is putting in a lot of effort and doing all the work. And while a relationship can never be completely equal, as there will be times of imbalance, being in a relationship that is always out of balance is neither healthy nor functional.
Women will have times when they need to be assisted and so will men; this is part of a healthy relationship. But if a man is trying to save or rescue a woman, this is not an adult to adult relationship. If chronological age were left out, this situation would be very similar to the way a parent might relate to a child.
Personal growth
Just because someone looks like an adult doesn’t mean they feel like one or that they’ve outgrown the way they felt as a child. And what happened to a man as a child will play a big role in whether or not they are attracted to wounded women and thus try to rescue them.
Love
On some level, love is seen as something a man will get from a woman by fully taking care of her needs and desires. So love is not something that includes being there for each other; it is a one-way occurrence.
And to understand why a man would associate love with this, it will be important to look at child development. The way a man is cared for by his mother in his early years will often explain why this association exists.
childhood
Ideally, a mother would be empathic and emotionally available in most cases. When this happens, a child usually meets her needs and wants. Then, through the mother caring for the child in this way, the child will come to see that her needs and wants are important.
When the mother is not empathic, emotionally unavailable, and generally out of tune with the child’s wants and needs, this is unlikely to happen. The child may then end up dealing with the mother’s needs and wants and consider her needs and wants unimportant. Here, one can end up feeling guilty and ashamed for having them. You felt accepted and approved by doing what your mothers wanted.
Impact
So, from the moment one was born, one had to work hard for attention, one did not give unconditionally and this led to a reversal of roles. But even though one grew from a child to an adult, they were still emotionally children.
This would have led to a lot of emotional pain and as a child one might have felt: abandoned, rejected, ignored, helpless and hopeless. And the ego mind would have gradually associated these experiences as familiar and therefore safe.
What does this mean?
While these early experiences were not healthy or functional, as the mind came to see them as safe, one would continue to re-enact what happened during those early years. Even though time has passed, one can get emotionally stuck at this point in their life.
From this place, the woman can be perceived in the same way. And how a man thinks, feels and behaves when it comes to satisfying his needs and desires, he can imitate these early experiences.
Awareness
For a man to have healthy and functional relationships with women, it will be important to let go of these associations and release the emotions that have built up over the years.
And while this is going on, one will no longer be attracted to or attracted to women who need to be rescued. You will begin to know that your needs and wants are important and not something to be ashamed of. It can take a while for a man to get back in tune with his needs and wants after being so caught up in the needs and wants of others.
This process can be assisted through the help of a: therapist, healer or some type of coach. And, in general, becoming aware and changing the way one thinks and behaves can also make a big difference. When it comes to what solutions will be needed, it may all depend on how challenging this is.
