I was recently browsing a Saddit thread when I came across a question about PUA text messages. What I learned is that, even in 2014, men are still afraid to text+. Makes sense, all that amazing connection you had in person is now limited to the little 0’s and 1’s flying towards your smartphone. To say that text is a limited medium would be an understatement. To say that it would be a game killer is to rationalize your lack of understanding.
Texting isn’t really about getting him to like you, you should have done that before you broke up when you met*. In this article I’m going to explain why we use text games, what their purpose is, and give you examples of texts you can use to revive a dying conversation.
Let’s talk about how to text women and keep them engaged.
The three elements of the solid text game
Before I even text, I want to take a moment to acknowledge the three elements for the best possible results. These are:
- sexual tension
- Access
- Appreciation and Recognition (Qualification)
These are the building blocks for her to want to keep the interaction going, with the sexual tension turning her on, the connection going deeper than the superficial attraction, and you showing greater value by focusing on who she is, not what she looks like.
Mastering them is beyond the scope of this article, but I guarantee that if you’re not getting texts, then you’re not aligned in one of these three areas.
time and frequency
Timing is extremely important in our modern age, wait too long and you will forget. Put yourself in people’s faces and nobody wants to have anything to do with you. The sexier a girl is, the more things she has going on. You need to get right into her life and become a fixture with her quickly.
Send a text the next day, waiting three days is for those who are too needy. Your subsequent texts can match the speed of their texts, here’s an easy rule to make sure you’re calibrated. If you and her text frequently, then you can call her and stop texting to set up a date.
How much and dead air
Many kids get stuck in the more is better paradigm. When we text, we should aim for quality content over quantity. Sending too many text messages makes you too available, decreases scarcity. Instead, consider quitting texting at a high point and leave her hanging for a few hours. You were busy and had things to do besides text her.
Make yourself precious and scarce and she will want to hang out with you just so she can get your attention. That is a powerful position for you to be in.
Fascinated
Truly this is where most men go wrong, we should avoid boring conversations and keep them emotionally attractive, we talk about taking care of the three main elements before obtaining the previous number. If you did, then all you need to do is keep her emotionally engaged. Your emotions tied to your meeting fade without that emotional engagement. The same thing happens to all of us, over time we retain memories, but the feelings go away and women trust their feelings.
The quickest way to start a conversation is to tease her, accuse her of something silly, tell her she’s taking you out to dinner to prove that chivalry isn’t dead. The provocation does not matter, all that matters is how attractive it is and that the emotional stimulation is the lubricant of the conversation.
Once you understand that you can switch between teasing, being sexual and playing her HARD. The greater the range of emotions you feel, the more convincing you become. This can be a scary process if you don’t know what you’re doing. Sometimes I have to fight for my students to be great because they care so much about screwing it up:
Dave: Text her, “I just met your twin.”
Student: She responded with… “Haha no way, where were you?”
Dave: Good. Say, “That would be revealing, I’m also pretty sure you’re the bad guy.”
Student: You haven’t replied to the text yet.
Dave: Okay, just wait.
Student: Okay, he just texted “Shh, don’t tell anyone.”
Dave: Hahaha. Good response from him.
Student: Yes… What’s my next move sensei?
Dave: thinking about it
Dave: I’m thinking “You know, it’s probably because your last boyfriend didn’t spank you hard enough.”
Student: I say that?!
Student She will think that all I want to do is sleep with her.
Dave: Yeah, we want to see how you’ll respond to sexual text messages. It’s a good indicator of where she is.
Dave: To be fair, you do.
Student: No, I’m looking for a girlfriend.
Dave: Oh, I should have explained. The more you like a girl, the faster you should sleep with her.
Student: Hahaha.
Student: OK, she replied, “Really? I’ve found that I respond better to rewards rather than punishments.”
Pupil:?
Student: Can I still ask if we’ll have Pad Thai tonight?
Dave: Nope!
Dave: call her
Dave: hex her
Dave: Then ask her out.
Student: Call her?
Student: Did not answer
dave: oh shame. Wait a few hours and then we’ll start texting again.
Student: She wrote, “I’m finishing up some paper right now, can I call you back in a minute?”
Student: And I’m going to play basketball and have lunch.
Dave: You can leave it at that and we’ll re-evaluate after lunch.
Student: Okay.
Student: OK, should I text you?
Dave: Yeah. Tell her you’re done playing basketball and you can call her when she’s available.
Student: Hey, she called me and I’ll pick her up at 7!
I love this example because it demonstrates the students’ fear of “taking the wrong step”, forcing them to be just like any other kid. Most of the guys bore her to death, sticking to a very small area of behavior, all predictable. We want to be different, we want to be a challenge.
The last thing I want to say about content is keep it short, if you can say it in one or two words, do it. Writing long messages shows that you are more interested than her. KISS – Keep it simple Silly.
text openers
As promised, here’s a list of simple openers you can use to get a girl to text you, with credit given where it’s due:
- I just met your twin… (Credit Savoy)
- I found a rose on my doorstep… you?
- The police are looking for a handsome boy and a retard… They caught me, grab your crayons and run!
- This is your phone company, the vibrate feature is not designed to be used on that.
- I just want you to know that I used to be modest… but now I’ve worked on it, I’m perfect.
These five should get things going and if you have any good ones please leave them in the comments below, we’d love to share and grow our list of awesome texts and keep men from fearing texting ever again.
Dates or Day 2!
Remember the goal is to see her in person, always text and move things forward from that perspective. Whenever you’re not sure how to proceed, remember that you want to meet with her. Think about what would bring you closer to that goal and never send a lame text, you have no reason to. If it takes hours to get to a great text, wait the three hours.
You will get a lot more dates that way.
* I know that in the country girls are dragged or have to leave, but these should be the exceptions, not the rule.
+ Seddit has a list of good text game resources HERE
