People trying to stay in employment and manage long-term health problems often face; stress, harassment and discrimination in the workplace, in addition to the usual day-to-day difficulties they face.
Colleagues can actively victimize and bully staff members who appear to be different from or weaker than them. And if you are unlucky enough to be the recipient of this behavior on the playground, the constant fear of ‘what is going to happen today’ can be a leading cause of absenteeism, which can lead to taking disciplinary action and worse. In some cases, the perpetrators are human resources departments, so it is all too easy to feel like there is no one to turn to for help.
Sandi Sayer is an expert in the field of professional coaching with many years of experience and, during a recent interview, I asked her to share the top 5 tips to help people manage and survive bullying and stress in the workplace. :
There are many ways you can lean on and protect yourself if you find yourself on the receiving end of harassment, discrimination, or stress in the workplace. The following five points are the most popular with clients I have worked with; They are tried and tested and, most importantly, they are all very easy to use.
1. Keep a complete journal
If you find that you are being bullied or discriminated against, one of the key things to do is gather evidence to support your case. The best way to do this is to keep an incident log or diary. It should be kept and used with discretion; Please do not show it to other colleagues or friends from work.
You will need to record all the events of the person (s) who have directly affected you, which should include:
• The date and time of the event
• What happened: record all details (include phone conversations here as well)
• Who else was present
• How did it make you feel (eg, bullied, scared, angry …)
It is also advisable to keep all documentation, including emails, post-its, and remember to also keep text messages if relevant.
Try not to base your evidence on what they say or on the gossip of other colleagues, just record what you have witnessed yourself.
Human resources, managers, advisers, and legal assistance need facts and feelings to present your case, so gather the facts as much as you can.
2. Take care of yourself!
The most important person in your life is you, so it is vital that you take the time to take care of yourself. This is especially important when you are experiencing stress at work. Many people underestimated the effects stress can have on them, especially their emotional well-being. Make sure you make time to give yourself space to relax, repair, and regroup.
Here are some easy-to-follow tips:
• Eat and drink in the healthiest way possible. Stress has a hugely detrimental impact on your body, especially your immune system. Avoid high-fat and sugary foods and replace them with fresh and healthy ones. Vitamin supplements are fine, however nothing beats eating good foods so your body can take what it needs the way it was designed.
• Drink plenty of water.
• Get some gentle exercise – move your body as much as you can, every movement you make will help.
• Spend time with people who make you feel good and make you laugh.
• Treat yourself once in a while; yeah, buy yourself that CD, the concert ticket or whatever makes you feel good.
• Do something different once a month; something that takes you away from your normal day to day. Maybe you have a day off in the week and go to a local art gallery, have a picnic, or visit a friend you haven’t seen in years.
• Make sure you take your assigned breaks at work.
• If you can, get out and breathe fresh air into your lungs at lunchtime; your body will love you for it.
• Smile (even if you don’t feel like it).
• Talk to someone you totally trust and respect; and take the time to talk about your feelings and thoughts. Two heads talking about things is much better than one head going round and round.
• Make sure you have a hobby or interest outside of work that you enjoy; and dedicate a regular amount of time to it.
When you are in a stressful state, it is important not to overcompensate with extreme behaviors in other areas. So be careful with your coping mechanisms, such as overeating (or binge eating), drinking large amounts of alcohol, taking over-the-counter medications, gambling, or shopping. If these coping mechanisms appear and start to take over, it’s time for you to take action or seek support from others.
3. Remain professional and adult
When you are in a state of high stress, it is very easy for you to become childish and irresponsible again. This is especially true if you are a victim of bullying. Stay as calm as possible, do not yell, insult or threaten the individual and of course refrain from touching him at all times. The key here is to remain professional and courteous and play everything by the book as much as possible.
If you feel capable and want to get into a dialogue with the bully about their behavior, make sure you stay calm and professional and make sure you have witnesses (bullies don’t like working in public).
If at any time you feel they will become aggressive, go to a safe, public place where other people are present. Avoid hiding in bathrooms; Bullies in the workplace, like their school counterparts, love to isolate you in places like that that are hard to get away from; it gives them a huge ego boost.
4. Flex those ‘self muscles’
And I don’t mean bodybuilding, I mean building self-esteem, self-confidence, and the muscles of self-belief!
The first thing that disappears when you experience stress in the workplace is self-confidence. You start to doubt everything you do, you feel guilty for no reason and, in some cases, paranoia can appear. Unfortunately, you only realize that your confidence and self-esteem are on the ground somewhere, when things have gotten really bad. There are many ways you can begin to exercise those glowing muscles of your confidence; Self-help books, retreats, vacations, having a few therapy sessions, or working with a coach are very beneficial.
One size does not fit all, what works for others may not work for you, so be honest with yourself and find what you really need. There is no shame in seeking help or asking for advice; Take care of yourself as you would your best friend.
5. Be positive, efficient and effective
At first, someone who intimidates or discriminates against you does so to protect themselves rather than to seek you out. What do i mean? Well, the person who is causing your workplace nightmare has only one thing on their agenda, which is to make sure that those around them do not realize the fact that they cannot do their job effectively.
The best way to do this is to create a smokescreen of cunning amusements. Here they will blame others for mistakes, problems or poor quality of work. This is your way of ensuring that management is looking at you and not at them.
Keep in mind that these narrow-minded people who make life hell often feel lonely and very sad. Unfortunately, they are unwilling to seek help or make positive changes in their lives; instead, they will point to you. Why? Because it is the simplest option for them.
So let’s get back to you; If you do your job really well and with a smile on your face (by the way, they hate that), then you will have beaten them fairly. Your mind games and manipulations cannot overcome your positive actions.
It is important to make sure your manager / supervisor is aware of the great work you are doing, so why not book monthly one-on-one meetings with them? It will give you a chance to go through what you have accomplished that month and the work you plan to do.
If it is your boss who is the problem and you cannot have this conversation with them, keep a record of what you are doing and be sure to make copies of any important reports or documents that you have generated. I have met many bosses who pass off the hard work of others as their own!
In conclusion, I would like to add this last important point to dealing with workplace trauma, please note that:
YOU are not to blame, this is NOT your fault, it is NOT weak or freaking out and YES, it can be solved!
