Sometimes I hear from people who feel like they have to walk on eggshells around their unhappy and insecure spouse. Often your spouse has admitted that they are no longer sure about the marriage. Many times a separation or divorce has been suggested.
I heard from a wife who said, in part, “My husband told me last week that he’s not sure he wants to marry me anymore. He finally agreed not to seek separation or divorce for at least a couple of months.” So I know I have at least a little time to change this. But I feel awkward, or like I’m in a spouse audition or something. I feel like I only have a little time to win. about my husband and this makes me feel like I have to pretend to be someone else or like I have to put on a happy face when I really don’t feel like it. I myself is the one my husband should be in love with. But I don’t think acting natural is going to work. Because I’ve been acting natural for the past few years and clearly, this doesn’t make him happy. So how are you supposed to act with a spouse who isn’t? Are you sure of your marriage?” I will try to address these concerns in the next article.
Your behaviors and actions are as important as you might think: I know it’s no fun feeling like you’re under a microscope. But the wife in this scenario was right to suspect that her behavior mattered. Because when her spouse isn’t sure about her marriage, she may believe that both you and the marriage will be closely watched to help you assess his next course of action.
I know this can make you feel very uncomfortable. But if you can see the bright side, you’ll see that this can offer you the opportunity to show your spouse exactly who and what you want them to see. And as a result, this gives you the opportunity to get the result you want. So now let’s talk about showing the woman that she is more likely to make him recommit to her marriage.
Who does your husband want to see in the Oder to feel more secure in their marriage?: Many wives tell me that right now they have no idea who (or what) their husband wants. Common comments are things like, “I don’t know who he wants me to be. I’m a wife and mother and I try to be as caring and exciting as possible. But the reality is that I have a lot of obligations and even though I’m doing the best I can, I’m not I’m going to be that sexy young lady he met for the first time.”
I understand these frustrations. And many wives are right in their assumption that her husband wants to turn back the clock and wants to see that younger, more naive woman who first turned her head. But here is the best news. You’re probably closer to that younger, carefree version of yourself than you think. I firmly believe that you probably haven’t changed. It’s your circumstances that have. You have more responsibilities on your shoulders and more people depending on you. And as a result, it’s harder for you to be optimistic and happy enough to be lucky. But, I promise you that it is not impossible for you to frame what you already have so that you will attract your husband back to you. I will discuss how to do it right now.
Shine a light on what you already know he loves: Let’s be honest. Her history with her husband probably means that she knows her personal likes and dislikes. In short, you know what makes it tick, even when it comes to yourself. Most people understand intellectually that people are attracted to other people who make them feel good about themselves and their lives. To that end, you don’t want to walk around like you’ve already lost him and your marriage (or are afraid of losing it).
You want to be confident and optimistic. You want to enjoy this time to rediscover yourselves. You want to be as playful as you can. I realize that at this point, what I am asking may seem quite difficult. But as much as possible, try not to let your fear drive you. It is much better for you to be in control than for fear to be in control. Try not to see this as some kind of audition. Instead, look at it as a way to show your husband the best of you. In short, he must show who he really is when he is not stressed or scared.
To do this, you may need to look at your lifestyle and workload to make the changes that make it possible. Having a perfect home isn’t as important as having a healthy and satisfying marriage, but many of us put off our marriages (thinking they’ll always be there for us) and focus on our homework or what we should be doing. This is very common but it is very destructive and can be changed. See this as an opportunity to resurrect the marriage you deserve.
So, to answer the question posed, you need to act as positively and optimistically as possible with the spouse who is uncertain about their marriage. Doing so will not only make reconciliation more likely, but it will also make the situation more manageable.
