If someone were to take a step back in their life and reflect on their expectations, what they might find is that many of them are “negative.” The expectations they have that are “positive” will be overshadowed by those that are “negative.”
After this, they might find that their life has been like this for a long time. What might also come to mind is that, in general, a lot of “negative” things happen.
a natural consequence
As a result of this, one might believe that the only reason they expect “negative” things to happen is that this is largely what happens. Their expectations are then secondary and what they experience is primary.
This would come from the view that one is simply an observer of their reality. Being this way, they could believe that their life is this way because they have “bad luck”.
The illusion of separation
However, although your ego-mind, along with your eyes, will create the impression that you are only observing what is happening ‘out there’, this is not the truth. Ultimately, one is both the observer and the co-creator of their reality.
This means that your “negative” expectations are having an effect on your reality. Therefore, once you begin to change your expectations, you will be able to co-create a different reality.
Some examples
If they were to take a deeper look at their “negative” expectations, they might find that they have some, if not all, of the following:
Who wait for good things to end
What do they expect to be left
waiting to be harmed
who expect to be mistreated
who expect to be punished
They expect to be scolded
who expect to be humiliated
who expect to be rejected
An approximation
At this point, one could say that this shows that one has “cognitive distortions” and that one needs to replace these distortions with “positive” expectations. This doesn’t mean that their life will always be the way they want it to be after this happens, but it will certainly get better.
Instead of “waiting for the other shoe to drop,” so to speak, and not being able to enjoy the good that is in your life, you will be able to embrace the good times and know that more is to come. This will make it easier for you to be present and surrender to what is.
Two levels
Now whether or not this approach works, and even if it does, it may not work for long, one will not find out why they have these expectations. Still, one could say that it doesn’t matter where they come from; what matters is that they change.
Most likely, these “negative” expectations are the result of what they actually experienced during their early years, if not earlier. In addition to the expectations that were created, then, there would have been the emotional pain that accompanied it.
A Surface Level Approach
Simply changing the “cognitive distortions” at the top will allow someone to avoid the accompanying pain, with this pain being held in their body. However, since you likely live in a mind-centered society, it won’t be a surprise if this pain and your body are overlooked.
It will be “all about the mind” and the other parts of your being, that is, if they are recognized, they will not be considered important. What will also play a role in your body being overlooked is that your feelings will be seen as caused by your thoughts.
back in time
This is a half-truth, and one that has and will continue to send people down the garden path; the other part of this is that thoughts of him can trigger feelings that are trapped in his body. When it comes to their early years, this may have been a time when they were regularly traumatized.
Bad things would have happened weekly, if not daily, and this would have caused them a lot of pain. No matter how many years pass, this pain will not simply go away.
Awareness
If becoming aware of what is happening above is the first step, the second step is to get in touch with the pain that accompanies it. From here, one can begin to work through their emotional wounds.
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If one can relate to this and is ready to change their life, they may need to seek outside support. This is something that can be done with the help of a therapist or healer.
