Goblin: a word and concept I’m trying to make friends with… the key word here is “try”
The duende is the spirit of evocation. He comes from within as a physical/emotional response to music. It is what gives you chills, makes you smile or cry as a bodily reaction to an artistic performance that is particularly expressive (from Wikipedia)
My reality – My fight
Duende- I have been reading The Demon and the Angel: Searching for the Source of Artistic Inspiration, Hirsch, Edward (2003) and have been exploring its meaning and how it applies to me and my artwork. Though I must admit I have this fear that as a blue-eyed white boy from Indiana, my Elf might have passed me off as someone more interesting.
When I was a kid we didn’t talk about the bad things or the “dark” side of history. They taught me that if you focus only on the good things, only good things will happen to you. We suppressed bad things… no one talked about the pink elephant sitting in the corner drinking tea and eating gingerbread; he just wasn’t really there, he said enuff!
I was fighting with myself over the idea that my artwork could have a dark side, in my mind this meant it was negative (you know… positive means GOOD, negative means BAD). Here I felt like Glinda, the good witch who makes everyone happy…there’s no place for anything but good things in my world…jumping around and throwing flower petals into the air (well, actually it was pixie dust. ..what can I say). But for me, after I was able to relax about the judgment and the personal blow I felt for my character. I have come to terms with Duende and how it seems to fit into my world. Duende is the shadow of the soul, perhaps even of my soul, the silent space between my inhalation and the exhalation of my breath. So maybe I need to change my perception and not see this as a fight, but go up to my Duende and ask him if he would like to dance…music please.
I remember when I was in my early 30s someone reminded me that there is a saying that…
“The brighter the light, the darker and the shadows”, which means they are the same.
I find comfort in these words and hope to find balance in my life… one day.
