You go on your first date and NOW WHAT? You not only have to decide where to go, what to wear and what to say on the first date…You have to come across as witty, charming, sexy and basically the perfect date…but really? could your take that out? After all, you’ve been on some disastrous dates, haven’t you?
Don’t worry, everyone has done it, but that doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it… after all, you’re not getting any younger and the next person could be your ideal person, right? You don’t want to miss it, do you?
Ok now that you feel little bit stressed, let me calm you down. Think about it… the goal of a first date is to make enough to land a second date (ie if you like them later…let’s say you like them here). If you think of your first date this way, it will be easier for you to handle it.
So the first thing is CALM UP!
You have friends who like you, right? So this person might like you too.
Presenting a date with a nervous wreck won’t earn you any points. Feel confident knowing that they are nervous too and when people are nervous, they are more interested in what they are doing than what you are doing. That way you’ll have time to fool around without them noticing too much.
When you are relaxed, you will also allow them to relax. When people feel relaxed and good around you, they will associate those feelings with you.
Another great way to put your mind at ease before your date is to visualize a “perfect date” and see your date go that way. When your brain imagines that things are going well, it tries to complete that image in real life. Also, your subconscious brain cannot tell what is real and what is imaginary. So if he thinks that the date is over and that it was perfect, it will allow you to rest easier.
And for those of you who don’t like the subconscious “mambo jumbo” stuff, imagine you’re hanging out with a friend for some casual, fun time. Just a little fun and no pressure. You’ve done that before, right? So stop worrying so much about having the perfect date and chances are you will be yourself and have fun.
So what about the conversation?
Are here 3 rules the one you should stick to no matter what –
- Always Always look for signs of discomfort. If you seem uncomfortable talking about a particular topic, walk away from that topic quickly and quietly. Don’t ask why those feelings exist. Let them have their privacy.
- As for privacy, don’t probe or ask too intimate questions. It’s his first date and most people don’t usually tell strangers their deepest, darkest secrets. When something comes up that is intriguing but personal, you fight the urge not to ask about it or dig any deeper. Don’t start measuring them too quickly, either. Men will do this if they don’t want to repeat past experiences and women may do this to gauge them about being future husbands, so an example of this for women is NOT saying “what did your last girlfriend do that you didn’t?” you like”
- You’ve probably heard this before, but I need to say it again, stay away from controversial topics. There is no faster way to bring up anger and heated arguments. These are topics like religion, politics, abortion, and any other topic that can generate different points of view. This is not a way to make two practical strangers meet. Two opposing points of view can spoil an entire night.
Well, once you follow those rules, what’s next? What are you talking about?
Talk about things in common, things you enjoy, ask about things you enjoy. keep it casual, fun and interesting. Here is a list of topics that you can use as guidelines:
- Talk about movies you’ve both seen or what you like to watch.
- TV shows that you and they like
- Places you like to go in the city, or where they live
- Restaurants and types of food that you and they like
- People you both may know in common
- Families (but really shallow stuff like brothers, sisters, etc., no deep issues… okay?)
- Work if you don’t already know the works of others.
- Where you grew up, colleges you went to, and trips you or they have taken
You get the idea right? From that, while the information you get is pretty sketchy, you’ll get an idea of whether you and they have anything in common and whether you and they click.
If you stick to the rules and topics above, chances are you had a nice night at least and a great night if you have any connection to them. There is an 80% chance that if there was a connection, then you will have a second date and that is the important thing, right?
