Many people in the world of sex who are not related to BDSM shrug off the idea of a BDSM contract; saying that since it doesn’t hold up in court or isn’t really binding, it’s just “not a big deal.” However, it is a big problem for the BDSM lifestyle, where the exchange between a Dom and a sub involves so much permission. In the most intense moments of the game, the sub could literally ask permission for every action, ie, “Can I eat more sir, can I drink more sir”, and so on. It is very important when it comes to BDSM to understand that in a submissive’s mind, having a contract is going to document EXACTLY when and how they do things. There are areas of BDSM that are so rigid that the sub can even literally be outside the door at times asking for permission before even letting in. Within the Dom / sub relationship, there is much more structure involved during the course of a day than others.
For example, there was a medical professional on the web blogging about bondage this year who talked a lot about it. In his private contract, it was established that on certain days of the week, he would go without wearing underwear, and then the girl would use an anal plug for an hour or so and vice versa. They worked together, but not in the same department; They only passed each other in the hall from time to time. But the documentation element in the contract was an added thrill for them; they just HAD to follow the contract guidelines for days without underwear or hours with the butt plug. Another command that can be established in a contract is to sleep the submarine in a collar, something that a writer in San Francisco looked forward to with special interest; feeling completely “possessed”.
An interesting area of the contract that some omit is called the “slave veto.” At some point in the game, if a commando is illegal, it incredibly physically or mentally damages the submarine, or damages in some other way. There is an option in some written BDSM contracts to exclude the sub from acts as intense as this. Another element in which a “deeper” and more detailed contract is drawn up these days is that of permanent bodily harm. This section that is becoming more popular states that when there is some kind of permanent bodily damage, even if it is something like a tattoo that the submissive did not want; the contract is terminated. Sometimes sexually transmitted diseases are listed in this section; sometimes they are not. The master, or dom, in these contracts really has a lot of freedom, even to wear whatever clothes he prefers. This is part of the allure of slavery; it takes a special kind of person to truly undergo all of these elements, but once they do, they claim it’s incredibly satisfying.
Even in this much more liberal age of sexuality, many contracts have some pretty serious secrecy clauses. For example, many BDSM contracts state that if someone else finds out about the contract, it is terminated. Of course, in some scenarios, others who also like the BDSM lifestyle are entrusted with the knowledge that the contract exists. Family members, even people from churches or clubs the couple is involved in, are the ones who really wouldn’t want to know about this. Many people are still very critical about sex and preferences, and the BDSM lifestyle takes the brunt of the bad reputation. There are many people who still think that BDSM is one of the most unhealthy behaviors. For whatever reason, as we all know, it has fallen under the “phenomenon” factor, even though regular television and theater drama contains the same elements.
Perhaps one of the reasons that contracts have become more popular in recent days is that they can really get rid of some of the unnecessary “wandering” in the early stages of a BDSM relationship. Since issues like punishment are strict issues, the contract can almost be considered an obligation these days. A teacher could really do whatever he wanted in the sun, and the submarine could be potentially miserable. Since submissives really love serving their master, the contract lets them know that their duties are in writing. The best thing about the BDSM contract is that it eliminates the law of the country, which is very important.
Because once that’s out of the way, true bondage, pleasure, or pain can be experienced with just a few short conversations going back to the contract. It’s so much better that way than wasting time setting new limits, retracting old ones all day long. Once the contract is written and in effect, all that needs to be done is to quickly refer to the contract, not the hours of saying what if and what do we do if I want to use this, do a certain thing, get out of the house. etc. Then there will be more time to serve, spank, or shame. And that … that’s what the BDSM lifestyle is all about!
